Monday, December 22, 2008

Still Snowing

I'm still holed up in Bellevue, un-able to retrieve my car as it's stuck on a nice incline near my apartment. I'm grateful that Panda has put me up at his house and it's been awesome spending time with him during the holidays.

I am becoming melancholy. Christmas is almost here and I can't see my family, my friends in LA and my Mom. I love the snow here, but I can't see how it looks downtown because I'm confined to an area due to the conditions. I hate that I have to come into work when it's not necessary. I am feeling a bit claustrophobic. I made Christmas cookies last night and that just made it even worse. Mom and I used to make cookies together every year and I was hoping to carry on that tradition, but I did it alone and although I tried not to let heart was broken a bit by the effort.

I think my pictures are reflecting the fact that I'm really miserable right now. I can't take anything that I really feel is good. I'm grateful...stupidly grateful...for all that I've been able to see over the last few days, but each time I see something amazing I want to immediately call my mom and share it with her. I lost a lot this year and as it's coming to an end I'm just glad for it all to be over. It's crazy because I lost the love of my life, but he's still here and I get to see him every day. I lost my mom, but she's still alive and I'll be able to talk to her again one day when she gets better. My friends and my family are all far away but I can still talk to them and they still care about me. I'm rambling now...I guess I kinda needed to do it. I've been quiet, really quiet the last couple days because all this is mulling inside of me and I'm afraid to let it out.

In any case, I've been thinking about this shot. I did it in black and white, but I wasn't happy with it so I'm including it here in it's original color.

snow berry

1 comment:

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