The vain attempts for me to gloss over everything and take a positive spin on a year that broke me was ridiculous and blew up in my face on NYE. I sat on the sidewalk with happy revelers around me as the clock struck Midnight. I saw the sky light up with the fireworks that I've longed to see but they were blocked by the building that held me up. I proceeded to revert to a bratty three-year old, thus causing destruction in my wake and hurting the very people who have taken care of me over the year.
I hate to quote her, but I remember this interview with Alanis Morrisette from just before her album was about to drop. She had spent a few months in India and was quiet and zen and happy and she said that she didn't know if she could create when she wasn't "overtly suffering". It made me think...can we only create when we are suffering? Do we perpetuate issues just to have something to say? I guess I'm about to find out...
My co-worker has spotted a large hawk outside our office a few times. He came up to me today and said "Our friend is back". I had my camera with me this time and I ran down to capture the little guy. The irony I guess is I've noticed that my first picture posted of 2009 is a birdie...same as my dear friend Panda, completely without intention. So I offer him this picture as a thank you for showing me my passion and for unconditionally always being my friend.