Wednesday, June 03, 2009

milk was a bad choice

It's warm, eh?

I'm gearing up to buy a new camera and my poor little 350d is tucked away as I've obsessed so much about the new one that I can't bear to pick it up. I see so much in my head that my sweet XT can't grasp. It's ok...I've decided to give it to a friend, but she doesn't know it yet. It'll be a nice little gift, me thinks.

Because of this, I haven't been posting but it's such a beautiful night I thought I'd write a little something. I noticed that lately I've been staying in a lot, even on the weekends. Mostly that's because I can't seem to bring myself to leave the bed the tall one is in...hmmm kisses...but also, where as I used to be excited to go shooting or see the sunset after work I've been staying home, reading or working out, then sleep. It's been bringing me down, and with the recent accident of a friend I've been missing my peoples in LA so much that I'm guessing it's starting to weigh on me.

I was having a conversation today with a co-worker who I talked into buy a Nikon and we were discussing photography and it dawned on me that my recent bummed out'ness was because I'm obsessing. I haven't been out shooting, instead I've been getting to know the tall one, spending time with him and beginning to let this new person into my life. He's pretty much the first guy that I rationalize through my thoughts with before acting. Sperling's sister always called it "Contain the Crazy" and I loved her for it. Basically, I want to react but I stop, think about it, wonder why I'm having that reaction: is it based on previous relationships? Am I projecting past situations on to him? Casey once told me that he wished he could put me into a machine to erase all the bad memories of my ex's, and sometimes I wish I could to. It's amazing how my past dictates a lot of what I do now, but so far I haven't scared him away...so yay me :)

The great thing about a new relationship is that it's a clean slate. It's big and empty and ready for you to fill with experiences, memories, good times...sometimes bad times...kisses and lazy Sunday afternoons. I know a lot of people who forget that, but I'm trying not to. My last relationship had so many expectations, it was doomed to fail. That weighs on me a lot too. I really miss my friend and as the warm weather returns it really pisses me off that I can't hang with him.

Sorry to be "tall one specific" as of late, but since I haven't really had a boyfriend in a while I'm working everything out in my head. Because I'm like that...no shut up, I'm not going to stop...no you...no YOU!

In any case, this evening was perfect. We met in the park, I put my feet in the water and watched the hula hoopers, puppies, tightrope walkers and listen to the drum beats of the ninja's. The sun began to set and the clouds turned a beautiful shade of orange and pink with the moon peaking through. There was dodgeball and kickball and Rainer beer and a full band playing techno music! It was a typical night on the Hill...and there were kisses.

The title of this particular blog was inspired by Saturday night; the tall one invited me to a friends party where I was serenaded by a SeaFair pirate and pirate in training. It was awesome and dirty...I loved it. However I learned a lesson that I should have already known from years of watching Heathers: never mix orange juice and milk...bad, bad, bad.

ok...

/random blog post :)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I havent seen you around, here or ninja...or anywhere. Missed you.
Really enjoy the tall one references...the mystery is beautiful.
Ive been quiet too, lets lightpaint.
Need help getting a good beginner camera.
Help?

stacy marie said...

I'm here..just lurking...the bee is beautiful.
I made a mention to Melissa about a puppy pics / lightpainting outing. I'll be getting my new camera in two weeks, she should be back from Mexico by then me thinks :) I know the perfect camera for you...email coming shortly.